The letter usually shows up about six weeks after the funeral, from a mortgage servicer nobody in the family has ever heard of, and somewhere down the second page it says the words due and payable and the number 30.
Thirty days. You're still canceling a phone line, still hunting for the safe deposit key. Half the family thinks the house is paid off, because your mom said it was paid off, and in the way she meant it she was telling the truth: she hadn't made a mortgage payment in eleven years. Nobody wrote down that the balance had been climbing the whole time.
I spent eight years buying houses from families in exactly this week of exactly this month, and I want to be honest about something. A letter like that one was the best thing that could happen to a buyer like me. It did all the work. I never had to create urgency, never had to pressure anybody, never had to be the bad guy. The federal government had already handed the family a countdown, and all I had to do was show up while the clock was loud and make an offer that sounded like relief.
So here's the thing that matters most, and I'd put it on the refrigerator if you'll let me: that 30 days is not the deadline you think it is. It's real, it's in HUD's rules, and it is also routinely extended by the very servicer whose letter is scaring you. Almost nobody tells families that part, because almost nobody in the transaction has a reason to.
What that letter actually is
A reverse mortgage in this country is almost always a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, or HECM, insured by the Federal Housing Administration. The rules are federal regulation, not servicer policy, so you can read them yourself and hold people to them.
Under 24 CFR 206.27(c)(1), the loan balance becomes due and payable in full when a borrower dies and the property is no longer the principal residence of at least one surviving borrower. There's a second trigger most families never see coming, at 24 CFR 206.27(c)(2)(ii): the loan can also be called due, with HUD's approval, when a borrower has failed to occupy the home for longer than 12 consecutive months because of physical or mental illness and no other borrower lives there. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau states the same rule in plainer words, naming hospitals, rehabilitation centers, nursing homes, and assisted living facilities. A parent who moves to memory care in March is on a clock that starts running quietly the following March, whether anybody in the family understood that or not.
Once the loan is due and payable, 24 CFR 206.125(a)(2) requires the servicer to notify the borrower's estate and heirs, and it gives the applicable party 30 days from the date of that notice to do one of a few things: pay the balance in full, sell the property, hand over a deed in lieu of foreclosure, or correct whatever condition triggered the due and payable status when the trigger was something other than the death of the last borrower.
That's the 30 days. It is not 30 days to be out of the house, and it is not 30 days to have a sale closed. It's 30 days to respond, and HUD's own consumer guidance says the next part out loud: the lender may approve 90-day extensions with satisfactory documentation that the estate or heirs are actively trying to sell the property or repay the loan. The CFPB puts the practical ceiling at up to six months. Separately, 24 CFR 206.125(d)(1) doesn't require the servicer to even commence foreclosure until six months after the due and payable date, and allows more with HUD's approval.
Scale, so you know you aren't unusual. HUD's FY 2025 annual report to Congress on the FHA Mutual Mortgage Insurance Fund reports $64.3 billion in outstanding HECM obligations as of September 30, 2025, and counts 267,960 active reverse mortgages from the 2009 through 2025 endorsement years alone. Every one of them ends the way yours is ending.
The three rules nobody tells you at the worst possible time
You do not owe the difference. Ever.
This is the one that steals the most sleep, and it's flatly answered in the regulation. Under 24 CFR 206.27(b)(8), the borrower has no personal liability for the loan balance, the lender may enforce the debt only through sale of the property, and the lender is not permitted to obtain a deficiency judgment if the mortgage is foreclosed. Your parent's other assets are not on the hook. Yours never were.
If the balance is higher than the house is worth, 95 percent ends it
Reverse mortgage balances grow. Interest, insurance premiums, and servicing fees get added to the balance every month for as long as the loan is alive, so a house that was worth far more than the loan in 2014 can be underwater by 2026. That's a designed feature of the product, not a mistake anybody made, and HUD's rule for it is short and generous. Per HUD's own guidance for people inheriting a HECM property, if the loan balance is more than the home is worth, the estate or heirs may sell the home for at least 95 percent of the current appraised value, and the lender will accept the net proceeds as satisfaction of the loan. The mortgage insurance your parent paid for, every month, for years, covers the rest. That's what it was for.
One detail with real money in it: under 24 CFR 206.125(b), when the loan is due and payable, that appraisal is at the lender's expense, not yours, though the lender can be reimbursed out of the sale proceeds. If a servicer tells your family to go pay for the appraisal that sets the number, that's worth a phone call and a citation.
The house still costs money while you decide
HUD's guidance is explicit that property taxes and insurance remain the responsibility of the borrower's estate until title transfers. An empty house in September is a heating bill in January, a homeowners policy that may reprice or cancel once it's vacant, and a tax bill that doesn't care who died. Slow is fine. Slow and unmonitored is what costs families money.
If a spouse is still living in the house
There's a separate track here, and it's strict enough that you need to check it this week rather than assume it.
If your surviving parent wasn't a borrower on the loan, they may still be able to stay, but only as what HUD calls an Eligible Non-Borrowing Spouse. Under 24 CFR 206.55(c)(1), that requires all of the following: they were the spouse of the borrower at loan closing, they remained the spouse for the borrower's lifetime, they were properly disclosed to the lender at origination and specifically named as an Eligible Non-Borrowing Spouse in the loan documents, and they occupied and continue to occupy the home as their principal residence.
Read that second-to-last one again, because it's the trap. The regulation says at 24 CFR 206.55(c)(2) that a non-borrowing spouse who was ineligible at origination is not subsequently eligible. A spouse married after closing does not qualify by living there faithfully for a decade, and there's no cure for it after the fact.
If your parent does qualify, the deadlines are tight. HUD's guidance calls for a Non-Borrowing Spouse Certification to the lender within 30 days of the last surviving borrower's death, and 24 CFR 206.55(d)(1) requires the spouse to establish legal ownership, or another ongoing legal right to remain for life in the property, within 90 days of that death. Those are the calendar items. Put them on an actual calendar today.
What to do this month, in order
1. Call the servicer and ask for four numbers in writing
The current loan balance. The due and payable date the servicer has on file. Whether HUD approval has been requested or granted. The name and direct extension of the person handling the file. Every deadline that follows counts from a date somebody at that company typed into a system, and you're entitled to know what date that is.
2. Ask for the extension before you need it
Do not wait until day 28. Write the servicer, say the estate intends to sell, and ask what documentation supports a 90-day extension. HUD's guidance conditions those extensions on evidence that you're actively trying to sell or repay, so create the evidence early. A signed listing agreement, an estate opened with the clerk, a letter from an attorney. Ordinary paperwork, sent on time, buys you months.
3. Find out whether you're above water or below it
Get an honest read on the home's current value and set it next to the loan balance. If the value clears the balance, this is a normal sale where the equity above the payoff belongs to the estate, and there's no reason to accept a discounted offer to make a deadline that can be extended. If the value doesn't clear the balance, the 95 percent rule is your exit, and the appraisal that establishes it is the lender's cost to bear.
4. Get the estate legally able to sell
A house cannot be sold by a family that doesn't yet have authority to sell it. Whoever is named executor should be qualified with the clerk of court in the county where your parent lived. In many families this step, not the servicer, is the actual bottleneck.
5. Do not take the first offer that arrives because it arrives
Investors buy notice-of-default and probate data, which is why the postcards start before the headstone is set. An offer that shows up unprompted in week three isn't proof the market wants your house, it's proof somebody bought a list. The market's real answer takes about two weeks of exposure to hear, and you almost certainly have those two weeks.
The part I actually want you to keep
Here's the trap in one sentence: the natural response to a scary letter is to call somebody who can end the scary letter fast, and the fastest option available is almost always the most expensive one you'll ever accept.
Calling a real estate agent starts its own clock, and that's not the agent being pushy, that's the job. A good agent wants a signed listing agreement, photos on Thursday, a price you have to defend, and showings by the weekend. That's the right instinct for a normal seller. Your family isn't a normal seller this month. You're four weeks past a funeral, you don't yet know the balance, and you may not even have the legal authority to sign.
So the thing worth wanting isn't a fast sale. It's being the family that read the letter, made three phone calls, got the extension, learned the number, and then sold on a schedule you chose. Same house, same servicer, same rules, a different outcome by tens of thousands of dollars.
You do not have to interview three agents, compare three prices you have no way to check, or be the person who tells two of them no. That audition is the thing you get to skip.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long do heirs have to sell a house with a reverse mortgage?
HUD's guidance states the loan must be satisfied within 30 days of the borrower's death, and that the lender may approve 90-day extensions with satisfactory documentation that the estate or heirs are actively trying to sell the property or repay the loan. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau describes the timeline as extendable up to six months so heirs can sell or obtain their own financing. Separately, 24 CFR 206.125(d)(1) does not require the lender to commence foreclosure until six months after the due and payable date.
Can heirs be personally responsible for a reverse mortgage balance?
No. Under 24 CFR 206.27(b)(8), the borrower has no personal liability for the outstanding loan balance, the lender may enforce the debt only through sale of the property, and the lender is not permitted to obtain a deficiency judgment if the mortgage is foreclosed. A HECM is a non-recourse loan, so the family's other assets are not at risk for the shortfall.
What happens if the reverse mortgage balance is more than the house is worth?
Per HUD's guidance for people inheriting a HECM property, the estate or heirs may sell the home for at least 95 percent of the current appraised value, and the lender will accept the net proceeds as satisfaction of the loan, with FHA mortgage insurance covering the remainder. Under 24 CFR 206.125(b), when the loan is due and payable, that appraisal is at the lender's expense, subject to reimbursement out of the sale proceeds.
Can a reverse mortgage come due if my parent moves into assisted living?
Yes. Under 24 CFR 206.27(c)(2)(ii), the loan may be called due and payable, upon HUD approval, when a borrower fails to occupy the property for longer than 12 consecutive months because of physical or mental illness and the property is not the principal residence of at least one other borrower. The CFPB names hospitals, rehabilitation centers, nursing homes, and assisted living facilities as the kinds of facilities that count toward that 12 months.
Can my surviving parent stay in the home if they were not on the loan?
Only as an Eligible Non-Borrowing Spouse. Under 24 CFR 206.55(c)(1), they must have been the borrower's spouse at loan closing, remained the spouse for the borrower's lifetime, been disclosed to the lender at origination and specifically named in the loan documents, and occupied and continue to occupy the home as their principal residence. The regulation adds at 206.55(c)(2) that a non-borrowing spouse who was ineligible at origination cannot become eligible later, and 206.55(d)(1) requires establishing legal ownership or another ongoing legal right to remain for life within 90 days of the last surviving borrower's death.
About Ryan Riggins
Ryan Riggins is a senior transition advisor and former house flipper. After 8+ years buying homes from families in transition, he walked away from the cash-buyer side to help families avoid the $50K mistakes he used to profit from. Based in Greensboro, NC. NC Real Estate License #361546, eXp Realty. Founder of Riggins Strategic Solutions and the SeniorSafe app.
Need the real number before you answer that letter? The free Net Proceeds Calculator shows what a sale actually leaves after payoff and costs: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/tools/net-proceeds-calculator
Want a step-by-step guide? The Senior Transition Blueprint is free, all 20 modules and 69 tools: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/the-blueprint
Not sure where your family stands? The free Family Readiness Score takes five minutes and shows the gaps across the home, the money, the legal documents, care, and family alignment: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/tools/family-readiness-score
Need a personalized plan? The Senior Transition Roadmap is free, by application. It adds calls with Ryan and 90 days of email support: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/the-roadmap
Selling a parent's home? Ryan finds and vets the right local agent for your situation and stays in your corner on the whole sale, at no added cost to your family: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/in-your-corner
Coordinate the family in one place. SeniorSafeApp keeps daily check-ins, medications, and documents where the whole family can see them: seniorsafeapp.com
Sources
All sources checked September 7, 2026.
- 24 CFR 206.27, retrieved as XML from GovInfo (2025 CFR edition, revised as of April 1, 2025). Source for the due and payable trigger on the death of a borrower at 206.27(c)(1), the 12-consecutive-month illness and occupancy trigger at 206.27(c)(2)(ii), the property charges trigger at 206.27(c)(2)(iii), the deferral of due and payable status for an Eligible Non-Borrowing Spouse at 206.27(c)(3), and the no personal liability and no deficiency judgment provision at 206.27(b)(8). https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CFR-2025-title24-vol2/xml/CFR-2025-title24-vol2-sec206-27.xml
- 24 CFR 206.125, retrieved as XML from GovInfo (2025 CFR edition). Source for the notice to the estate and heirs and the 30 days from the date of notice at 206.125(a)(2), the sale option capped at 95 percent of appraised value at 206.125(a)(2)(ii), the appraisal timing and the lender bearing the appraisal expense when the mortgage is due and payable at 206.125(b), and the requirement that the lender commence foreclosure within six months of the due and payable date or within such additional time as HUD approves at 206.125(d)(1). https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CFR-2025-title24-vol2/xml/CFR-2025-title24-vol2-sec206-125.xml
- 24 CFR 206.55, retrieved as XML from GovInfo (2025 CFR edition). Source for the Eligible Non-Borrowing Spouse qualifying attributes at 206.55(c)(1), the rule that a non-borrowing spouse ineligible at origination is not subsequently eligible at 206.55(c)(2), and the 90-day requirement to establish legal ownership or another ongoing legal right to remain for life at 206.55(d)(1). https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CFR-2025-title24-vol2/xml/CFR-2025-title24-vol2-sec206-55.xml
- HUD, Inheriting a Home Secured by an FHA-insured Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, FHA Resource Center consumer guidance. Source for the statement that the loan must be satisfied within 30 days of the date of the borrower's death, that the lender may approve 90-day extensions with satisfactory documentation that the estate or heirs are actively trying to sell the property or repay the loan, that property taxes and insurance remain the responsibility of the borrower's estate until title is transferred, the 95 percent of current appraised value sale option, and the Non-Borrowing Spouse Certification due within 30 days of the last surviving borrower's death. https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/SFH/documents/inheriting_hecm_09-23-19.pdf
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, With a reverse mortgage loan, can my heirs keep or sell my home after I die? Source for the 30 days from the due and payable notice, the statement that the timeline might be extended up to six months so heirs can sell or obtain their own loan, and the 95 percent of appraised value payoff with the remainder covered by mortgage insurance. https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/with-a-reverse-mortgage-loan-can-my-heirs-keep-or-sell-my-home-after-i-die-en-242/
- Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, When do I have to pay back a reverse mortgage loan? Source for the 12-consecutive-month absence in a healthcare facility such as a hospital, rehabilitation center, nursing home, or assisted living facility. https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/when-do-i-have-to-pay-back-a-reverse-mortgage-loan-en-236/
- HUD, Annual Report to Congress on the Financial Status of the FHA Mutual Mortgage Insurance Fund, Fiscal Year 2025. Source for $64.3 billion in outstanding HECM obligations as of September 30, 2025, more than 28,000 HECMs insured in fiscal year 2025, and the 267,960 active HECMs across the 2009 through 2025 endorsement cohorts reported in Table B-25. https://www.hud.gov/sites/dfiles/Housing/documents/2025FHAAnnualReportMMIFund.pdf
