You didn't mean to start anything. You called an agent because you had exactly one question, something in the neighborhood of "if we ever did sell Mom's house, what would it even be worth." And now there's a name in your phone, a listing appointment penciled in for Saturday, a market analysis sitting in your inbox with a number on it, and your brother has already seen the number and has opinions about it.
Nobody did anything wrong. That's the part families get twisted around. The agent wasn't being pushy. A listing agent's job is to list houses, and the good ones, the competent well-reviewed ones you would actually want, move fast. Moving fast is the service. It's what a seller who has already decided is paying for.
The problem isn't the agent. The problem is that you weren't a seller. You were a daughter with a question, and the only door the market offers you opens directly onto a process.
Here's why that gap is worth naming out loud. For about eight years I bought houses from families in transition, and my best deals were almost always the ones where somebody had started something they weren't ready to finish. I walked away from that side of the table, but I still know exactly how the pace gets set and who it gets set for.
Once the process starts, it has a rhythm. Photos, sign in the yard, showings all weekend, offers by Tuesday, decision by Thursday. For somebody who has already decided, that rhythm is a gift. For a family still working out whether Dad can handle the stairs one more winter, whether the money lasts if he moves, whether anybody has even asked him what he wants, that same rhythm is a countdown clock attached to a decision nobody has made.
And being on that clock costs money. That part isn't a feeling anymore. Somebody measured it.
What the Research Says About Older Sellers
Two findings worth knowing, both from places you can check yourself.
The first is about what people actually want. In its 2024 Home and Community Preferences Survey, AARP found that 75 percent of adults age 50 and older want to stay in their current home for as long as possible, and 73 percent want to stay in their current community. That survey reached 3,090 adults age 18 and up. So the default for three out of four older homeowners is not moving. It's staying. Which means most of the families reading this are years away from a sale, not weeks.
The second finding is about what happens when the sale finally comes. In January 2026, the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College published a brief titled "Why Do Older People Get Lower Returns on Their Homes?" by Philip Strahan and Song Zhang. The researchers linked roughly 10 million repeat home sales from the CoreLogic deeds database to voter registration records, which let them see how old each seller actually was. That's a harder thing to do than it sounds, and it's why this study can say something most housing data can't.
What they found: returns start slipping around age 70, and the gap keeps widening after that. By the brief's estimate, an 80-year-old seller realizes about 0.5 percent per year less than a 45-year-old seller. Stretched across the average holding period in the data, which is 11 years, that works out to roughly a 5 percent lower sale price. On a $400,000 home, the brief puts the loss at about $20,000.
Then they went looking for why, and this is the part that should get your attention. The oldest sellers in the data were 2.3 percent more likely to sell off the MLS and 2.7 percent more likely to sell to an investor. Property condition explained about another 10 percent of the gap, because older sellers on average had homes with fewer major improvements and thinner maintenance.
There's also a natural experiment buried in it. The brief notes that after Midwest Real Estate Data, the largest MLS platform in Illinois, changed how brokers could pre-market properties while keeping the listing visible, private listings fell and the older-seller discount was cut roughly in half, from negative 0.8 percent to negative 0.4 percent.
What That $20,000 Actually Is
It isn't a haggling problem. Nobody talked your mother down. Read the two causes again and you'll notice something: both of them are timing problems wearing a disguise.
Selling off the MLS, or straight to an investor, is what people do when the calendar is running. A quiet sale to one buyer is fast, it's certain, and it's private, and every one of those is worth something real when a rehab bed opens up on the fourteenth and the house has to be dealt with. You're not choosing a lower price. You're choosing speed, and the price is what speed costs.
Poor condition is the same story stretched over more years. Nobody decides to let a roof go. It's just that the repair that would have taken three months of planning and two contractor bids now has to happen in eleven days, or not at all. So it happens not at all, and the buyer prices it in at a discount that is always larger than the repair.
Here's the useful version of that: neither of those costs anything if the family starts early. Both of them cost around $20,000 if the family starts late. Same house, same market, same agent. The only variable is who set the pace.
The Other Clock Nobody Mentions
There's a second timer running, and it's the one that actually surprises families, because it starts when a parent moves out rather than when the house goes up for sale.
Per IRS Topic 701, a homeowner can exclude up to $250,000 of gain on the sale of a main home, or up to $500,000 for a married couple filing jointly. To qualify, they generally have to have owned the home for at least 24 months out of the five years before the sale, and used it as their main home for at least 24 months out of those same five years.
Now picture the common version of this. Mom moves in with your sister, or into assisted living, in the spring. The house sits. Nobody wants to be the one who pushes. Two years go by, then three, and somewhere in year four the use test quietly stops being satisfied, and a sale that would have been tax-free stops being tax-free. On a home in a market that's run up for two decades, that's not a rounding error.
There is an exception, and it's one of the most useful things in this entire post because almost nobody knows about it. IRS Publication 523 says that if the homeowner became physically or mentally unable to care for themselves, they only need to have used the home as their main home for 12 months out of that five-year window, and time spent living in a care facility counts toward the two-year use requirement, as long as the facility is licensed by a state or other political entity to care for people with that condition.
That's a genuinely different math problem, and it turns on a diagnosis and a license, not on how fast anybody sells. This is education, not tax advice, and the ownership test is separate from the use test. Take the actual dates and the actual facility license to a CPA before you let anybody tell you the window is closing.
What To Do Instead
Ask the question without opening the process
You are allowed to want information without wanting a transaction. If you call a listing agent, say the words out loud on the first call: "we are not selling this year, and I need you to know that before you spend time on me." A good agent will respect it. A great one will tell you honestly whether they want to stay in touch for two years, and you'll learn something either way.
Put a date on it, even a made-up one
The single best thing a family can do is name a target, even a soft one. "We think spring of 2028, unless something changes." A date turns a fog into a plan. It tells you which repairs are worth doing, when to start clearing the attic, and how much runway there is before the tax window matters. And it's yours to move.
Fix condition on your calendar, not a buyer's
Property condition was measurable in that Boston College data. Two contractor bids in a normal month beat one emergency bid in a bad week, every time. Walk the house now, write down what a buyer will flag, and put those items on a timeline with the target date at the end of it. Roof, HVAC, water heater, anything with an obvious age.
When you do sell, sell to the whole market
The research is about as clear as housing research ever gets: off-MLS sales were part of why older sellers netted less, and when one large MLS made listings more visible, the gap shrank by half. So ask any agent, in writing, exactly who will see the house and on what date it hits the MLS. If the answer is "my private buyer list first," you now know what that convenience is priced at.
Give one person the phone
Pick the family member who talks to the professionals. Everybody else gets briefed. A house with four adult children calling four different agents generates four different timelines, and the fastest one always wins by default.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it a mistake to call a real estate agent early?
Not at all, as long as you say what you're doing. The risk isn't the agent, it's the unspoken assumption. A listing agent hears a question about value and reasonably starts working toward a listing, because that's the job. Tell them your timeline on the first call and most of the pressure disappears, because there was never any pressure, just two people working from different scripts.
Do older homeowners really sell their homes for less?
Yes, according to the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. Its January 2026 brief, drawing on about 10 million repeat sales linked to voter records, found that returns begin slipping around age 70, with an 80-year-old seller realizing about 0.5 percent per year less than a 45-year-old. Over the average 11-year holding period, that's roughly 5 percent, or about $20,000 on a $400,000 home.
Why do older sellers get lower prices?
The brief points to two main causes. The oldest sellers were 2.3 percent more likely to sell off the MLS and 2.7 percent more likely to sell to an investor, and property condition accounted for about another 10 percent of the gap because their homes tended to have fewer major improvements and weaker maintenance. Both are things a family can change with enough lead time.
Will my parent lose the home sale tax exclusion after moving into assisted living?
Possibly, but there's an important exception. IRS Topic 701 normally requires two years of ownership and two years of use as a main home within the five years before the sale. Publication 523 says that if the homeowner became physically or mentally unable to care for themselves, only 12 months of use is required, and time in a state-licensed care facility counts toward the two-year use requirement. Confirm the specifics with a CPA.
How do I find a good agent without committing to sell?
Talk to somebody whose job isn't listing the house. That's the entire reason my work exists. When the time is genuinely right, the referred agent will still come out, walk the property, and talk price, because that's how a sale works. What goes away is the audition: three appointments, three prices you have no way to check, and being the one who has to call two of them back and say no.
About Ryan Riggins
Ryan Riggins is a senior transition advisor and former house flipper. After 8+ years buying homes from families in transition, he walked away from the cash-buyer side to help families avoid the $50K mistakes he used to profit from. Based in Greensboro, NC. NC Real Estate License #361546, eXp Realty. Founder of Riggins Strategic Solutions and the SeniorSafe app.
Not sure where your family actually stands? The free Family Readiness Score walks through the questions that decide whether it's time: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/tools/family-readiness-score
Want a step-by-step guide? The free Simple Blueprint walks through every stage of a senior transition: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/freeguide
Ready for the full system? The Senior Transition Blueprint is free, all 20 modules and 69 tools: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/the-blueprint
Need a personalized plan? The Senior Transition Roadmap is free, by application. It adds calls with Ryan and 90 days of email support: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/the-roadmap
Selling a parent's home? Ryan finds and vets the right local agent for your situation and stays in your corner on the whole sale, at no added cost to your family: rigginsstrategicsolutions.com/in-your-corner
Coordinate the family in one place. SeniorSafeApp keeps daily check-ins, medications, and documents where the whole family can see them: seniorsafeapp.com
Sources
All sources checked August 5, 2026.
Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, "Why Do Older People Get Lower Returns on Their Homes?", Issue Brief 26-2, by Philip E. Strahan and Song Zhang, published January 20, 2026 (crr.bc.edu). The decline beginning at age 70, the 0.5 percent per year figure for an 80-year-old versus a 45-year-old, the 11-year mean holding period, the roughly 5 percent lower sale price, the $20,000 loss on a $400,000 home, the 2.3 percent higher likelihood of an off-MLS sale, the 2.7 percent higher likelihood of an investor sale, the roughly 10 percent of the gap explained by property condition, the approximately 10 million repeat sales linked from CoreLogic deeds to voter registration records, and the Midwest Real Estate Data pre-marketing change that cut the discount from negative 0.8 percent to negative 0.4 percent.
AARP Public Policy Institute, "Home and Community Preferences Survey, 2024" (aarp.org). The 75 percent of adults age 50 and older who want to remain in their current home as long as possible, the 73 percent who want to remain in their community, and the sample of 3,090 adults age 18 and older.
Internal Revenue Service, Topic No. 701, "Sale of Your Home" (irs.gov), page last reviewed or updated June 8, 2026. The $250,000 and $500,000 exclusion amounts and the requirement to have owned and used the home as a main home for at least 24 months out of the five years before the sale.
Internal Revenue Service, Publication 523, "Selling Your Home" (irs.gov). The exception for a homeowner who becomes physically or mentally unable to care for themselves: 12 months of use within the five-year period, with time in a facility licensed by a state or other political entity counting toward the two-year residence requirement.
Education, not advice. Tax outcomes depend on facts this post cannot see, including ownership history, prior exclusions, and a care facility's licensing. Confirm your situation with a CPA or tax attorney before acting on the exclusion rules. Housing research describes averages across millions of sales and says nothing about what any single home will sell for.
